What paying kids for chores really teaches them

To this day, I’m asked what I think about paying kids for doing household chores. Pocket money is one of those topics that can spark surprisingly strong opinions among parents… sometimes even between partners.

So here’s my stance:

When our kids were little, Libby and I would pay them for chores that went above and beyond their normal responsibilities around the house and would save us time.

Cleaning up after themselves and making their beds? That was simply part of being in our family… an expectation, not a paid job. But if they offered to wash and vacuum the car, fold the washing or help out with a big yard project, we’d slip a few gold coins into their piggy bank. By the time they were teenagers, their shifts at Maccas helped those piggy bank savings grow a whole lot faster.

Some parents pay pocket money without any domestic expectation (personally I believe money must be earned). They see it as teaching stewardship. But then others feel paying their kids to contribute to the household isn’t sharing the load… worse, it might even raise entitled adults. And then there are many of us who sit somewhere in the middle. We wanted our kids to be responsible, hard-working and financially literate, without turning the family home into a miniature workplace.

So let’s explore what pocket money can teach children, and then I’ll leave it to you to decide what works best for your family.

The case for paying kids for chores

There are lots of great financial lessons that can come from earning and handling money at a young age.

Put in the effort and be rewarded. Paying your kids to do certain tasks can help them understand that money doesn’t simply exist on a magic plastic card, or in your phone when you tap to pay. It’s earned. That connection is powerful, especially as they get older and begin to understand that effort carries value. Why is cleaning the windows worth more than weeding? Why does one job take longer? That sort of thing. These chats are the foundation for understanding wages, time and skill.
Money needs to be managed. If we want our kids to become confident adults with money, they need hands-on experience managing it. That means adding up, saving for a goal and budgeting. A small, regular income – whether tied to chores or not – allows them to practice this. And mistakes made with $5 are far less painful than mistakes made with $5,000. Starting financial literacy young is a lifelong gift.
Showing initiative and a drive to earn can pay off. When kids know there are optional “extra” jobs available where they can boost their savings, they can catch what I call the “earning bug” – that drive to increase their income in various ways. So when kids ask, “What else can I do?” it’s a lovely shift from being told what to do. You’re seeing an entrepreneurial mindset rather than passive dependence.

But we can’t overlook the downsides.

The case against paying kids for chores:

On the other side of the pocket money fence are those who believe kids shouldn’t be paid for contributing to the running of the household. They argue:

Family contribution shouldn’t be transactional. A home isn’t a business, it’s a shared responsibility. Paying children for everyday tasks can send the message that helping the family requires compensation. Mum or Dad are not getting paid to cook dinner or clean the bathroom, so why should they?
It can reduce intrinsic motivation. Research in behavioural psychology suggests that when we attach payment to tasks that children might otherwise do willingly, or because they’re expected to, we risk shifting their motivation. Instead of helping because it’s the right thing to do, they may begin asking, “How much will I get?”
It creates negotiation fatigue. If every job has a price tag, you may find yourself in constant micro-negotiations. “I’ll do it for $3.” “No, $2.” That dynamic can become exhausting and eroding to family relationships.
It can feel divisive or unfair. Not all families have the disposable income to dish out pocket money. Even if that’s not your family, you might be aware that kids your child is mates with are from families who are struggling financially. Pocket money can feel unfair when not all kids can earn it, or earn it equally.

A middle-ground approach

Many families, like ours back in the day, tend to land somewhere in between: “These jobs are your responsibilities, these ones can earn you pocket money” etc.

But we also had a savings ‘rule’ in the Koch family: Save 50 per cent, spend 40 per cent (if you want) and give 10 per cent to charity.

Libby and I wanted to teach our kids not only how to handle their money but that it means something beyond them.

Harvard University in the US has been conducting a 75-year study on humans and one of the criteria is finding out what makes people successful in life… and one of the most powerful reasons is kids doing chores.

Researchers found that doing household chores early in childhood predicted adult professional success better than school grades, test scores, or attending prestigious schools.

Children that developed a pitch-in mindset, asking how I can be useful instead of waiting to be told what to do, built habits that shaped their entire careers.

The research showed that rolling up your sleeves and contributing to family life builds competence that report cards cannot measure.

Start early. Be consistent. The simplest daily tasks create the strongest foundations.